Monday, March 3, 2014

Moon and Sixpence





Rewards of a Writer                          

The moral I draw is that the writer should seek his reward in the pleasure of his work and in release from the burden of his thought and indifferent to aught else, care nothing for praise or censure, failure or success.


Sympathy: Virtue often misused

… Mrs. Strickland had the gift of sympathy. It is a charming faculty, but one often abused by those who are conscious of its possession: for there is something ghoulish in the avidity with which they will ponce upon the misfortune of their friends so that they may exercise their dexterity. It gushes forth like an oil-well, and the sympathetic pour out their sympathy with an abandon that is sometimes embarrassing to their victims. There are bosoms on which so many tears have been shed that I cannot bedew them with mine. Mrs. Strickland used her advantage with tact. You felt that you obliged her by accepting her sympathy.


Value of Opinion of Others

When people say they do not care what others think of them, for the most part they deceive themselves. Generally they mean only that they will do as they choose in the confidence that no one will know their vagaries; and at utmost only that they are willing to act contrary to the opinion of majority because they are supported by the approval of their neighbours. It is not difficult to be unconventional in the eyes of the world when you unconventionality is but the convention of your set. It affords you then an inordinate amount of self-esteem. You have the satisfaction of courage without the inconvenience of danger. But the desire for approbation is perhaps the most deeply seated instinct of civilized man. No one runs so hurriedly to the cover of respectability as the unconventional woman who has exposed herself to the slings and arrows of outraged propriety. I do not believe the people who tell me they do not care a row of pins for the opinion of their fellows. It is the bravado of ignorance. They mean only that they do not fear reproaches for peccadillos which they are convinced none will discover.

But here was a man who sincerely did not mind what people thought of him, and so convention had no hold on and so convention had no hold on him; he was like a wrestler whose body is oiled; you could not get a grip on him; it gave him a freedom which was an outrage.



Need for Approval

I take it that conscience is the guardian in the individual of the rules which the community has evolved for its own preservation. It is the policeman in all our hearts, set there to watch that we do not break its laws. It is the spy seated in the central stronghold of the ego. Man's desire for the approval of his fellows is so strong, his dread of their censure so violent, that he himself has brought his enemy within his gates; and it keeps watch over him, vigilant always in the interests of its master to crush any half-formed desire to break away from the herd.


Effect of Suffering

It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive.


Beauty: What is it?

"Why should you think that beauty , which is the most precious thing in the world, lies like a stone on the beach for the careless passer-by to pick up idly? Beauty is something wonderful and strange that the artist fashions out of the chaos of the world in the torment of his soul. And when he has made it, it is not given to all to know it. To recognize it you must repeat the adventure of the artist. It is a melody that he sings to you, and to hear it again in your own heart you want knowledge and sensitiveness and imagination."


Love: its effect

Love is absorbing; it takes the lover out of himself; the most clear-sighted, though he may know, cannot realise that his love will cease; it gives body to what he knows is illusion, and, knowing it is nothing else, he loves it better than reality. It makes a man a little more than himself , and at the same time a little less. He ceases to be himself. He is no longer an individual, but a thing, an instrument to some purpose foreign to his ego. Love is never quite devoid of sentimentality…


Moral Indignation & Sense of Humour

I am a little shy of any assumption of moral indignation; there is always in it an element of self-satisfaction which makes it awkward to anyone who has a sense of humour.


Beauty: an abused word

… people talk of beauty lightly, and having no feeling for words, they use that one carelessly, so that it loses its force; and the thing it stands for, sharing its name with a hundred trivial objects, is deprived of dignity. They call beautiful a dress, a dog, a sermon; and when they are face to face with Beauty cannot recognise it. The false emphasis with which they try to deck their worthless thoughts blunts their susceptibilities. Like the charlatan who counterfeits a spiritual force he has sometimes felt, they lose the power they have abused.




Until long habit has blunted the sensibility, there is something disconcerting to the writer in the instinct which causes him to take an interest in the singularities of human nature so absorbing that his moral sense is powerless against it. He recognizes in himself an artistic satisfaction in the contemplation of evil which a little startles him; but sincerity forces him to confess that the disapproval he feels for certain actions is not nearly so strong as his curiosity in their reasons. The character of a scoundrel, logical and complete, has a fascination for his creator which is an outrage to law and order . I expect that Shakespeare devised Iago with a gusto which he never knew when , weaving moonbeams with his fancy, he imagined Desdemona. It may be that in his rogues the writer gratifies instincts deep-rooted in him, which the manners and customs of a civilized world have forced back to the mysterious recesses of the subconscious. In giving to the character of his invention flesh and bones he is giving life to that part of himself which finds no other means of expression. His satisfaction is a sense of liberation.
The writer is more concerned to know than to judge.




Unconsciously, perhaps, we treasure the power we have over people by their regard for our opinion of them, and we hate those upon whom we have no such influence. I suppose it is the bitterest wound to human pride.




Moon and Sixpence
W. Somerset Maugham

Friday, February 28, 2014

Mulla Nasrudin Stories and Jokes





How to Become Wise?

Friend: "Nasrudin, how does one become wise?"

Nasrudin: "Listen attentively to wise people when they speak. And when someone is listening to you, listen attentively to what you are saying!"


The Guarantee

One day at the King’s court, the King turned to Nasrudin and said, "Mulla. Since you are constantly reminding us of how clever and wise you are, tell me this : can you teach your donkey to read?"

"Absolutely," replied Nasrudin. "A task like that would present me with no problems whatsoever."

"Don’t mess with me," said the King. "Seriously, can you do it?"

"Yes, I mean it," Nasrudin replied, "and I’ll tell you what: just give me fifty thousand dollars right now, and I’ll guarantee I’ll have this donkey reading within eight years."

"OK," said the King. "But that donkey isn’t reading by then, I’ll put you in prison and have you tortured daily." So they agreed, and Nasrudin left the court.

The next day, Nasrudin’s friend asked about what happened. "Are you out of your mind?" he said. "You can barely teach your donkey to stand still, and now you’ve guaranteed that he’ll be reading within eight years. Nasrudin-I don’t see how you’ll be able to escape a long prison sentence for this."

"Listen," the Mulla calmly replied, "several years from now , our King will probably be dead or out of power. And even if he manages to last as our King for that long, odds are my donkey will have passed on by then. And in the unlikely event that neither he nor my donkey is gone by seven years time, I’ll still have an entire year to plan my way out of getting punished."


Man Searches for Joy

One day, Nasrudin began talking to a man from another town. The man lamented, "I am rich, but I am also sad and miserable. I have taken my money and gone traveling in search of joy -but alas, I have yet to find it."

As the man continued speaking, Nasrudin grabbed the man’s bag and ran off with it. The man chased him, and Nasrudin soon ran out of the man’s sight. He hid behind a tree, and put the bag in the open road for the man to see. When the man caught up, he located the bag, and his facial expression immediately turned from distress to joy.

As the man danced in celebration of finding his bag, Nasrudin thought to himself, "That’s one way to bring joy to a sad man."


Nasrudin Almost Falls into a Lake

One day, Nasrudin slipped and nearly fell into a lake, but was caught by a friend walking next to him.

From then on, every time Nasrudin encountered the friend, the latter was sure to bring up the incident and make a big deal about it.

After months passed and Nasrudin could take no more of this, he led the friend to the same lake, and, with clothes and shoes still on, deliberately jumped right into the water! 

As he lay in the water, he remarked to the friend, "Now I’m as wet as I would have been if you didn’t save me that day… so for goodness sake, please stop reminding me about it!"


Walnuts and Watermelons

As Nasrudin rested under a tall walnut tree one day, he looked a few yards to his side and noticed a big watermelon growing on a thin vine near the ground.

Nasrudin looked up and said, "Great God, please permit me to ask you this: why is it that walnuts grow on big strong trees, while watermelons grow on think weak vines . Shouldn’t it be the other way around?"

But at that very moment, a walnut fell from high on up in the tree and hit Nasrudin square on the head.

"Ah!" remarked Nasrudin. "I suppose Nature’s ways might not be as backward as I thought. After all, if a big watermelon fell out of the tree and onto my head, it might have killed me!"


Center of the Earth

Friend: "Nasrudin, do you know where the center of the earth is?"

Nasrudin: "As a matter of fact, I know exactly where it is."

"Where?"

"Directly under the right hoof of my donkey."

"What! How can you be so sure?"

"Well— if you don’t believe me, you can measure it for yourself."


Grammar


Nasrudin was ferrying a traveler across a lake. As they spoke on various subjects, Nasrudin made a minor grammatical error.

The traveler remarked, "You who wears a turban and calls himself a Mulla-have you ever studied grammar?"

"No," Nasrudin admitted, "I have not covered that subject in depth."

"Well then," the traveler replied," you have wasted half of your life!"

Several minutes later, Nasrudin turned to the traveler and asked, "Have you ever learned how to swim?"

"No," the traveler responded.

"Well then," Nasrudin replied, "you have wasted all your life-for there is a hole in the boat, and we are sinking!"


When Will the World End?

Philosopher: "I have been traveling, researching, and contemplating for years, trying to determine when the end of the world will be-yet I still have not found out the answer. Mulla, do you know when the end of the world will be?"

Nasrudin: "Yes-I have known that information for a long time."

"Well, will you share this knowledge with me?"

"Of course. When I die, that will be the end of the world."

"Are you certain it will?"

"It will be for me."


A Lesson

Nasrudin was teaching his son life lessons.

"Never give anybody anything immediately," he said. "Wait until at least a couple of days have gone by."

"But why?" his son inquired. 

"Because," Nasrudin responded, "people appreciate receiving something much more if they first have to doubt whether or not they will actually get it!"


Larger Steak

A traveling scholar treated Nasrudin to a meal at a local restaurant. The scholar ordered two lamb steaks— and several minutes later, after the waiter brought back a platter containing one medium sized steak and one larger one , Nasrudin immediately took the larger steak and put in on his plate.

The scholar looked at him with total disbelief. "What you did violates virtually every moral, ethical, etiquette , and religious principle there is," the scholar began explaining. He continued with a long lecture.

When he finally finished talking, Nasrudin asked, "Well, may I ask what you would have done if you were in my situation?"

"Yes," the scholar replied. "I would have taken the smaller steak for myself."

Nasrudin placed the smaller steak on the scholar’s plate and said, "OK, fine— here you go!"


The Right Language

A man was caught in a river current and hanging on to some rocks in order to avoid being carried away. 

Nasrudin and a friend noticed him, and the friend went up to him, extended his arm, and said, "Give me your hand so I can help you out."

The man, however, did not cooperate.

Nasrudin then asked the man what he did for a living.

"I collect taxes," the other replied.

"Then take my hand," Nasrudin said, upon which the man finally cooperated.

Nasrudin then turned to his friend and remarked, "Tax collectors speak the language of take, not the language of give."


Religious Beard

The town’s religious leader was preaching to the townspeople one day.

"Religious men have beards!" he exclaimed.

"A thick beard is the outward manifestation of holiness!"

"My goat has thicker beard than anyone in this town," replied Nasrudin. "Do you mean to tell me that he is more religious than all of us?"


What Should I Do?

Nasrudin’s friend was continuously worried and distressed over everything.

One day he went up to Nasrudin and said, "What should I do if I get up early in the morning, and it is so dark that I bump into something and injure myself?"

Nasrudin replied, "Get up later in the morning."


Camel or Man?

Friend: "Nasrudin, which is wiser: camel or man?"

Nasrudin: "Camel."

"Why?"

"Because a camel carries loads but does not ask for more, whereas man, even if he is overwhelmed by responsibility, often chooses to add more."


The Mayor’s Request

One day, the King called over Nasrudin and said to him, "Mulla, you claim to have mystical powers. Use your powers to catch fish for the starving people in our town."

"Your Highness," replied Nasrudin, "you’ve got me confused. I said I have powers. I never said I was a fisherman."


The Walk Home

The local religious leader was not too fond of Nasrudin.

However, one night, he, being uneager to walk home alone, decided to join Nasrudin as they headed back to their neighborhood.

As they reached a steep passage, the religious leader looked up and said, "Great God-surely you have made this path steeper in order to punish my companion for his not-so-exemplary behavior."

"My friend," Nasrudin replied, "you’ve got it all wrong. When I took this very road this morning on my way to work it was downhill and a very easy walk. But now that you are accompanying me, it is sloping upwards like this!"


200+ Mulla Nasrudin Stories and Jokes
Rodney Ohebsion